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MP XVII Lack of Intimacy

By Greg Rangel 

In our last article we continued to see the importance of intimacy within the marriage. As previously mentioned, when a wife fails to give herself over unto her husband, or when a husband fails to give himself over unto his wife, they are placing their marriage in a danger zone because of the fact that intimacy within the marriage is very important. 

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:3, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” When there is no intimacy, the couple has given access to the devil to cause division within the marriage. The Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” If the husband or the wife is not fulfilling their due benevolence, you can bet on it that the devil will destroy the marriage. 

One of the reasons that adultery is committed by either couple is because the other is not rendering their due benevolence. Unfortunately this is one of the major problems that many couples face. One or the other is not satisfied intimately because the other party is always rejecting the pleasure of intimacy. Because of a headache the marriage begins to crumble.   

Intimacy within marriage is honorable to the Lord and blessed by Him. He created it. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24-25). When God created Adam and Eve He blessed them and blessed their marriage. God intended that intimacy stay within the marriage. God honors that. But because of man’s wickedness and perversion, man began to have multiple sex partners. And unfortunately we see throughout history that man has been guilty of that. 

We now live in a society like that of the Corinthians in which intimacy outside of marriage and with other people is so common than it has now caused people to be so desensitized. It is now viewed as something normal, but it is not. It is still sin against God. And God will judge the whoremongers, that is those who have sex outside of the marriage pact. Hebrews 13:4 says “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but God will judge fornicators and adulterers.” 

Unfortunately, adultery has become so common as well within the Christian community that the divorce rate because of adultery is the same as that of the world. Because of a short moment of passion with someone else, there have been many families, careers, and children destroyed. As previously mentioned, Proverbs 5:15, “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.” And my as my own version reads, “Plow in your own field” (Greg 1:1). 

There are multiple things that couples can do to avoid from committing adultery. But one of the major ones is as the Bible describes it here in verse 3 of 1 Corinthians 7, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” This is the number one and best thing. Do not deny yourself to your husband or wife. Once again, by doing so, you will be placing your marriage in a danger zone. 

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife” (1 Corinthians 7:4). The husband is the one that will usually complaint that the wife hardly ever allows him to touch her. And the wife will be the one to usually complain that her husband never wants to leave her alone. But now, in order to avoid adultery, the husband needs to know that intimacy for the wife is not as important as it is for him. And the wife needs to know that intimacy for her husband is much more important than it is for her. Both must keep that in mind in order to avoid problems. And both must compromise with each other when it comes to intimacy. 

Intimacy is an obligation that married couples have one to the other. In order to avoid adultery, the wife must render due benevolence to her husband, and vice a versa. Let us not forget that. 

Greg Rangel
Borderland Calvary Chapel

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